Myles Harrington

On My 24th Birthday I Had Pink Eye and Went to a Gay Club

In Thailand on September 11, 2010 at 9:20 pm

By the time it was September the 7th we’d already discovered that Chiang Mai would be a great place to spend a birthday. After three days in Thailand’s ancient capital, our group; Holly (Claire’s cousin who we’d picked up in Bangkok before Laos), Claire, Taylor (A good time American girl we’d picked up in Luang Prabang) and I were pretty pleased with the place. Mainly due to two nights at the amazing Reggae Bar with their live in-house  ska band and our hungover day trip to ride elephants, raft down a river and visit a butterfly farm.

Tay, Hols and the Elephant Man

And so it was my 24th birthday, now in my mid teens but vitally to the vain, still closer to 20 than 30. I found myself in the fortunate birthday situation of having a whole empty day ahead, being on holiday and with a girl who wanted to treat me. What a fantastic combination for a great day. The only problem was the illness that had plagued our whole group since Luang Prabang. The infamous Laos pink eye. Rumours around the tubing circuit are that one in every two people get pink eye within four days of their dip in the Nam Song. In our group it was one in one, all one at a time. At first it was Claire who we royally ripped the piss out of for catching, then Holly, myself and even Taylor and a guy we briefly met called Ryan were infected. My case was so bad it’s even worse than the example on Wikipedia and I made many women scream from the sight of me.

I hate people who wear glasses indoors

But all puss aside I was determined to enjoy my day. It started off as my birthdays have all done over the last few years with a mammoth breakfast of joy. Hash browns, three eggs (two fried, one scrambled and all topped with salsa) and refried beans all washed down with a screwdriver (why not?).

Boozy brunch for my birthday

The day continued along this lazy, foodie and boozy path with a wonderful hour-long Thai massage and a three-hour nap followed by a cheese board and a cold bottle of Bordeaux for lunch. At about 6pm we ended up at The Queen Vic. An English style pub with no English beers and one page of standard English pub grub amongst the extensive Thai menu. The juxtaposition was odd and clearly didn’t work to pull in the punters because the place was dead. We only went in because of the promise of cider and they were playing Rude Boy which is always a beckoning call.

We told the bar staff about the wonders of Peggy Mitchell "Champagne on the house"

We got chatting to the camp 33-year-old barman called Nogh who has a boyfriend that lives in Shropshire. Although it’s a fantastic night out, we’d got bored with the same set at the reggae bar by now so decided it would be fun to try somewhere new. We asked Nogh if he knew of any good clubs and he offered to take us out to one of the best gay clubs in Thailand; Mandalay. The 300 baht (£6) entrance fee was a bit steep but Nogh had already said if we paid our entrance and used the free drink voucher for copious amounts of Pepsi and soda he’d buy the litre of Johnnie Walker for us to share. That seemed like a very fair offer so we went off to fit in another meal, a Mexican feast and headed back to The Vic for 11pm.

Meal three - 4516 calories later

The night started off extremely slowly. Who would have thought it could be awkward sitting in an empty gay club on a Tuesday night with a man you barely know and the prospect of finishing a litre of whisky? Perhaps we should have thought this through. The night did improve though and by 1.30 it was brilliant. The place was relatively full and I’d got two massages from the masseur in the toilets (I know it sounds dodgy, but he worked wonders cracking my neck) There were also three Thai beauties (females) on stage dancing in their underwear and I was the only person appreciating it. What a waste. Nogh had also livened up after a few whiskies and he gave us a lift back to V.I.P House in his pick up truck at 3am. We snuck off to finish the day with another foodie delicacy – McDonald’s fries, supersize of course.

5k remaining: £1790.12

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  1. […] we tried to go and find Nogh, the gay guy who took me out on my birthday to Mandalay Club. Sadly for us he had left The Queen Vic pub job to work for the Tourism Authority of Thailand, a […]

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